Epiphanies.

1. You don’t have to feel obligated to entertain someone who is interested in you. If you don’t love someone, set them free.

2. The world is a disgustingly beautiful phenomenon. It’s almost oppressive in the limitless possibilities. The intricate and delicate balance of beauty and pain is awesome. (Awesome as in it instills awe and wonder. Not as in the colloquial “Hey Dude, awesome news; Johnny scored a gram from some kid in his remedial mathematics for soon-to-be dropouts class” kind of way)

3. I don’t have to be an opera singer right now. Just because a lot of the people I spend time with are set on going to grad school and obsessing about their careers and whatnot doesn’t mean I can’t take my life one day at a time. The voice doesn’t typically mature until the late 20’s or early 30’s. I could decide in ten years that I want to go back to school for performance, and if I work hard enough, still have a viable career on stage. If pursuing this field of study doesn’t feel right to me, I don’t have to study it!!! I am obligated to no one else’s happiness but my own. It’s a remarkable realization for me.

4. I don’t need to feel guilty for enjoying life as a college student. I don’t have to feel guilty for not taking on more responsibility. Each day brings what it brings, and all I can do is look that day in the face and say “Hey DAY, I am ready to take you on with passion and verve for living a meaningful existence”. And that is enough. I am allowed to enjoy a relaxing or less than technically productive day, because I am learning about myself and life in the process. Simply existing is enough as long as I do not take it for granted.

5. I have time. As long as I’m careful not to get hit by a car within the next few years, I’m not going to die as a sorry excuse for a citizen of the world. I will contribute to the world, but I may have to wait a few years. 

The thing about epiphanies is that someone can try to teach you something for years, but until something inside a person finally snaps into place they can’t claim that knowledge for their own. Its kind of tragic to know that we can’t always save others, but empowering to know that we can will eventually learn to heal ourselves if we put in enough effort.

Today, acknowledge the beauty and gift of time. We may not think we have much, but there’s no other way to stay sane than to trust that it is enough.

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